Communication Issues
Will I ever learn?? I ask myself one Monday afternoon. This has happened before. And back then I ended up looking like the bad guy. It looks like it'll end up that way once more.
It all starts with a roommate doing something minor (like leaving crumbs on the counter) and me taking a deep breath. I clean it up and hope it won't happen again. Then it happens again. And again. It continues until I'm ready to explode. Then I put it aside for a while, hoping I can deal with it and just accept the person's actions. But after time, I'm ready to explode again. Then it just becomes downright tension-full to be around the person.
Can I help it that I'm a first-born, with a large sense of responsibility and likes things to be clean? Is it wrong that I want other people to respect my things? Is my strong-will so intimidating?
I'm about to have another one of those conversations. When I think about how the finger will be pointed at me, it makes me angry. I won't rant and rave on this site, but here are a few thoughts:
1) Never allow even a minor repetitive offense to linger. If you address it the second or third time it happens, you can save yourself a headache.
2) Set guidelines for cleaniness and chores as soon as you move in with someone.
3) Take the upper hand. Be the one to request a "talk." Whoever requests the talk will end up looking like the one in the right. Don't wait for them to ask what's wrong with you - Tell them.
4) Don't be angry when you voice your annoyances/complaints. Breath with the knowledge that it's not that big a deal.
5) Put yourself in the other person's shoes before you speak. This will aid you in your approach.
6) Resolve it in one conversation.
7) Smile.
By this time tomorrow, it should have passed. I pray for God's hand over my mouth, to keep me from saying what I shouldn't. I pray for the other party, that they would understand what I say and be willing to compromise.
I always thought my future marriage wouldn't be so difficult. Maybe I am wrong? Maybe God is preparing me better?
FYI: If you ever live with me, please clean up your own messes!
It all starts with a roommate doing something minor (like leaving crumbs on the counter) and me taking a deep breath. I clean it up and hope it won't happen again. Then it happens again. And again. It continues until I'm ready to explode. Then I put it aside for a while, hoping I can deal with it and just accept the person's actions. But after time, I'm ready to explode again. Then it just becomes downright tension-full to be around the person.
Can I help it that I'm a first-born, with a large sense of responsibility and likes things to be clean? Is it wrong that I want other people to respect my things? Is my strong-will so intimidating?
I'm about to have another one of those conversations. When I think about how the finger will be pointed at me, it makes me angry. I won't rant and rave on this site, but here are a few thoughts:
1) Never allow even a minor repetitive offense to linger. If you address it the second or third time it happens, you can save yourself a headache.
2) Set guidelines for cleaniness and chores as soon as you move in with someone.
3) Take the upper hand. Be the one to request a "talk." Whoever requests the talk will end up looking like the one in the right. Don't wait for them to ask what's wrong with you - Tell them.
4) Don't be angry when you voice your annoyances/complaints. Breath with the knowledge that it's not that big a deal.
5) Put yourself in the other person's shoes before you speak. This will aid you in your approach.
6) Resolve it in one conversation.
7) Smile.
By this time tomorrow, it should have passed. I pray for God's hand over my mouth, to keep me from saying what I shouldn't. I pray for the other party, that they would understand what I say and be willing to compromise.
I always thought my future marriage wouldn't be so difficult. Maybe I am wrong? Maybe God is preparing me better?
FYI: If you ever live with me, please clean up your own messes!
posted by Cherise @ 1:15 PM
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